Sweetened Condensed Milk
One of my favorite things to put in coffee is sweetened condensed milk. When I can find myself a killer cup of iced coffee with some creamy sweet milk inside -- man, it is like heaven in a cup. I think this may actually be because I have some rather fond memories connected with this liquid, for whatever reason. It makes me think of coffee dates and laughter, of intentional conversation and fellowship, and warm days with a breeze that twirls all through my hair.
(Photo courtesy of Courtney Donlon)
While these word pictures may sound fantastic, and are certainly accurate representations of my feelings for this beverage, is it really so important that I spend sentences talking about an addition to my coffee? Just a thought: I think that sometimes it can be extremely tempting to romanticize or doll up our daily lives for the sake of making them sound exciting. Trying to describe ideas in flourishing language to "slap a filter" over the story, so to speak, is something that I definitely find myself doing. Even now, as I write this post, I am wanting to use the most descriptive and experience-inducing words as possible, but it is not necessary.
To be honest, I have been having a bit of a rough time lately, and it's not always so easy to clean up my messy life enough to feel that it is worth sharing with someone else. Currently, it is one of those seasons in life where nothing seems to be going quite right. Life is messy and frustrating and uncontrollable, and it is overall just not the best time. It is an adventure to be sure, but it is not an adventure I can very easily find a picturesque moment in -- one to capture and romanticize and show off so that everything thinks I have it together.
I've been asked a lot recently, "how are you?" as seems to be the common greeting of our society today. I am always torn between whether I answer with the truth, or with what is acceptable. Truthfully, I am messy. But acceptably, I am great! Today it struck me. If I were to answer that question 100% honestly right this second, I would tell them, "I am sweetened condensed milk." Alright, it sounds funny, but bear with me here.
As I sat today, smiling, laughing, and catching up with some beautifully sweet friends of mine, I sipped a bomb.com iced coffee flavored with some exceptional sweetened condensed milk, and I realized something. This favorite milky coffee-additive of mine has not always been as delicious as it is when I enjoy it. Sweetened condensed milk is just regular cow's milk that has had the water removed from it, and so it has had to be refined to get to its final form.
The milk is taken and heated at an intense rate to a high temperature (185 degrees, if you care) for a hot second, every pun intended. Then, it is moved into a vacuum space where the milk is condensed (the name is very descriptive of the product itself) under concentrated pressure, which gives it its syrup-like consistency. Finally, it is pumped with some sugar crystals to add an extra dose of that wonderful tastiness. Basically, the milk has to undergo some extreme heat and pressure to become what is it.
Don't get me wrong. I am not likening myself to a form of milk. Especially since I'm lactose-intolerant. But, for me, I think there are some encouraging little lessons to be noted from the process of making one of my favorite sweeteners. It takes work.
"I know this transformation is painful, but you're not falling apart; you're just falling into something different, with a new capacity to be beautiful." - William C. Hannan
I feel lately that God has been refining me, stripping me of myself, breaking down walls I did not even know I had, and molding me for an entirely new season of life. Yes, it is rough, overly jumbled, uncontrollable, and certainly not something I know how to put a positive twist on at all times so that people can think I have my messy life under control. But I think that is the catch. I don't have it under control. I don't need to. "The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be silent" (Exodus 14:14). With my annoyingly Type A personality, not being in charge of everything going on in my life is definitely more than a little frustrating. But praise God that I don't need to be, because He is fighting for me. All I have to do is lean into that, trusting that this will all make sense one day. One day, after refining and pressure and change upon change, the regular milk is creamy, sweet, and ready to delight my taste buds. It brings a flavor that could not have existed had the initial process of change not occurred.
So, maybe it still is a stretch, but in the midst of all this messy, I feel like sweetened condensed milk. It may not make sense yet, but I like to think that God is condensing me to make me sweeter for His purposes!